So, you've found yourself in a zombie apocalypse. Congratulations! You’ve got a front-row seat to the most ridiculous disaster of your life. Now, if you really want to ensure you don’t survive, here’s the game plan. First, forget all your survival instincts. Embrace your inner couch potato; binge-watch your favorite shows instead of gathering supplies. Who needs food or water when there’s a thrilling episode waiting for you? Next, when you hear those moans echoing through the streets, rush outside to see what’s happening. I mean, it’s probably just a neighborhood party, right? And don’t even think about staying quiet. Scream your head off; the undead just love the sound of panic! Lastly, if you come across a zombie, don’t run or defend yourself. Approach it and try to engage in a heartfelt conversation. They might really just need a friend. Follow these easy steps, and you’ll be toast before you even know it! Enjoy the apocalypse!

Congrats, survivor—oops, spoiler, you’re toast! You’ve front-row seats to the silliest apocalypse ever. Want to guarantee your demise? Step one: ditch survival smarts. Become a couch kraken—binge your favorite shows instead of hunting supplies. Hydration who? Nutrition what? Episode cliffhangers await! Step two: at the first zombie groan, fling open your door. It’s totally a block party, right? Crank up your volume—scream until your lungs quit. Zombies love drama! Step three: meet a walker? Don’t flee or fight. Slide in for a heart-to-heart—they’re just misunderstood. Follow these tips, and boom, you’ll join the horde in no time. Celebrate your downfall!